Denial is not just a river ...

Today is the day that I peed on a stick. I have not been feeling well for the past couple of weeks and Steve is convinced that I am prego. I started not feeling well about a week ago - nausea, barely eating, and if I did my inner child would take over and I would take 2 bites and say, "Done!" I am very tired as well, taking naps all the time, which I rarely do,  - But I have been blaming the hot weather on my laziness!! I have been in complete denial about the whole thing, any time Steve says, "dude, your prego!!" I just take more sips of my vodka soda and say, "Yeah ... well your stupid!" Its not that I am not excited to find out - but once you know, its like .... You KNOW. Then its like one big wave of questions ... "How come your not drinking? Why you not hungry? Why you so tired? What is your favorite color?" ... questions that I am not going to be able to answer because I am a terrible liar! And my friends can read me like a book. But nonetheless - We have to find out. Its time.

Steve and I go to Target to get a pregnancy test. You would think that I would have taken one of these already in my life,  the teenage scare of, CRAP! I may be prego! or the mid-20's scare of, CRAP! I may be prego! or even the just married scare of, CRAP! I may be prego! but no ... I have never taken one of these things in my life. We go down the aisle ... Let's see ... EPT, Clear Blue, Easy Answer .... Hummm .... Do I take the one with the plus sign - or one really legit one that actually says, "You are Pregnant, you slut!" I am thinking the legit one. Oh look, there are TWO tests in this package. "BONUS! Free Pregnancy Test! Two for the price of One!!" Sweet! Now one of the tests can sit in my bathroom to collect dust on. Maybe I should go to Colfax and sell one of them  ....

After checking out and feeling like the checker-outter chick is judging me ("oh look ... these 30 year olds are buying a test ... what crazy sex animals!") we are on the way home. I am getting really nervous ... We are not talking much - Steve is wondering why I am biting my nails and twitching my leg - but this is really nerve racking! We get home, unload the groceries and there is the test just staring at me. I take it out, read the directions. "Ok, it will take 3-5 minutes for my pee to cook ..." Steve says, "well ... what are you waiting for?"

So I do the deed and come out of the bathroom. After 5 minutes of silence - Steve asks, "So ... you gonna check that thing?!" I make him do it ... Like its a spider in the bathroom and I need him to kill it before I even think about stepping foot in the bathroom. Steve yells from the bathroom, "You going to come find out, or what?!" I slowly get up - take a deep breath - and start walking towards the bathroom. Now, for those who have seen my bathroom, its the size of a closet - it is small. I walk in, Steve is leaning up against the tub - I am trying to evaluate his face. The only thing I can come up with is that he is gassy. He hands me the test. "Pregnant". I look at Steve, who has a big smile on his face, also a "told you so" look about him, and then I look back at the test. Someone pintch me! But not hard because I bruise easily. I called Steve, "Dad" and he calls me "Bitch" ... it was so sureal. Could this be?! Could I be prego?! No way, I am the Aunt ... I know how to be an Aunt - I have been an Aunt since I was 15! But a mom?! If the baby cries, can I just give it back to Ashley or Jessica?! (the answer is yes by the way) ... So I look at Steve, "Now what?!" You would think he would be asking that to me, but no, I am sitting there asking him. I have no idea what the next step is ... Again, I have been on the other end of the phone when my sisters have told me the news. And I am always thinking the same thing yet the number keeps going up ... "YAY! Aunt times 5! Aunt times 6! Aunt times 7!"

So here we go ... the first step is out of the way ...