The Herbert's are Expecting!: 20 Weeks Means

This is the appointment of ALL appointments. This is what you have been waiting for during the whole pregnancy!! So being the creative creatures we are - we decided to have a "Gender Reveal Party" also referred to, "Sex Party", "Sex Toy Party", "Sexy Party" ... The last 3 are thanks to my mom and my sisters... A Gender Reveal Party is a party where you get everyone together to find out the sex as a big happy family rather than in the hospital OR calling my favorites first to tell them the news. To do this, I decided to have a cake made with blue or pink frosting in the middle so once you cut the cake everyone finds out at the same time. I get Ashley's friend to make the cutest cake ever so now is just the moment where we get the sex into an envelope to give to Robin. So here we go.

We get to the doctors office and sign a form that we may or may not find out the sex today but we are feeling pretty positive. I have not a clue - there are no signs either way. The way this baby is moving, I could guess that we are having a monkey so I am clueless. Steve is definitely thinking girl because HEY - Herberts have girls. (To think out of all those Herbert men - Pat is the only one that can produce a boy!)

I am excited to get our name called for obvious reasons, but also to go pee. I have been holding it in and I am about to burst. I inhaled a PB and J before coming to the appointment as well so you know I washed that peanut butter down with some H2O! She calls our name and we go into the room. I am too excited to remember that I am about to pee myself so I will just wait. Maybe.

She asks if we are finding out - I tell her our major plan of finding out and she could really care less so once we got through to her that she just needs to put it in an envelope that would be just grand, we start the fun! I lay down and Steve grabs my hand ... The GOO is nice and warm - its going to be fun to see what this baby looks like. She moves the wand around the GOO which is making me REALLY have to pee.

We pretty much get to see everything but I was glad that she was telling us what we were looking at. In my head I say, "oh man - look at baby herbie's face - So Cute ..." and then she says, "This is the butt...", I will say in my head, "OH man - that's a cute hand!" and she will say, "this is a foot...." ... I say in my head, "Oh look at that belly!" she says, "this is the top of the head .." So I stopped even guessing what I was looking at.

About 45 min pass and we are looking at every craves of this thing and I am about to pee all over this chicks table so at this point I am ready to go. She kept saying, "Man - I really want to see the legs but baby is on the move and won't turn over - this get it moving!" I am not sure what that means - but apparently it means that she is now going to shake my belly and press the wand down hard over the GOO (not to mention I have about 8 bottles of GOO on me) ... so now I am really about ready to pee and at this point I would not care. She finally see's what she wants to but not for long before baby herbie moves around again. But before that, baby herbie says, "Stop bugging me bitch!" and the baby gives the doctor the finger. For real! That's my baby!!! She stops and says, "See that? yeah - thats the middle finger..." HA! Now I know for SURE this baby is mine!! After MEN AT WORK come into the room to remove the 80 extra pounds of GOO on me (not really but this chick does not even hand me anything. I have to use the toliet seat cover material that we all lay down on in a doctors office that makes more noise that construction on Colorado Blvd and is not that cottony feel like Charmin has but more like sandpaper - which at this point this shit has dried all over me, I need extra sandpaper to get it off of me ...) .... we are done.

All in all - this baby is perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes and the most beautiful black and white picture under a sea of darkness that just consistest of lines and now arrows saying stuff like "Foot" I have ever seen. Best appointment ever - and the best part is, I don't care if it has a penis or a .... va...vagina. (hate that word). I just know this is MY baby and I love every little part of it!!

Now - we wait.